Sta.sh
He woke in a panic, sheets damp with a cold sweat. Tired eyes attempted to focus on the ceiling above him as sharp and uneven breaths became steady once more. Once the pins and needles had left his body, his feet took him to the small bathroom down the hall. A light flickered on and the tap ran with cool water that splashed over his face. He looked up at his reflection and saw the hint of fear that remained in his eyes from that dream. That nightmare.
There was still plenty of time to kill until the sun would rise to wake the world. A few hours of silence. Of that damned, painful, murderous silence that would claw at his ears until he began to hear voices screaming that it was his fault. That everything was always his fault.
His body somehow managed to make its way back into his bed where tangled sheets lay in a mess. As he hit the mattress and the wooden bedframe creaked dangerously, he wondered how much longer he could keep this up until he too finally snapped. His gaze wandered over to the single picture on his night stand, the picture of the laughing, smiling girl who haunted his sleep. He shuddered, recalling her expression, her tears, the confusion and sorrow that remained as the paramedics came too late.
He screamed in his head, thoughts becoming too noisy to ignore. And for the millionth time he asked: Why? Why did fate have to be so cruel as to take her from him, but allow that damn drunk bastard to survive? Why did he have to go and watch her corpse be put in the ground as the person who had put her there got off with a small fine? Was that idiot sorry? Did he feel any guilt, any pain? Why did it have to be her, even though he had tried so hard to cover her, to protect her? Why couldn't it have been him?
A shaky hand reached over and took the picture off of it's place. He held it above him. Was she better off now? Was she laughing in Heaven, or was she staring at his disgraceful form with pity? So many questions that could never be answered.
"Perhaps we aren't meant to know. Perhaps some things are best left unanswered." he mouthed her words as her voice echoed soothingly in his mind. He kissed the photo that had captured her smile so perfectly and held it close as he began to fall into unconciousness once more. "Maybe we aren't meant to know. But we can always wonder." he mused to the air before his body gave into sleep.
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